(not?) making sense

i just deleted one of the entries on this blogsite, and in doing so, i've realized: now that i've invited "the public" to glance at my world, i've exposed my process to people. it's funny putting up ideas, sketches, experimental projects... then later deciding that they suck. then wondering... "how many people might have visited the blog and saw this stupid idea that i was playing with... that i now think sucks... and that might have turned them off to either scrolling further down and getting into other works, or just forgetting that they ever saw this blog (and my work) to begin with. i wanted my blog to really be like a sketchbook... but like my sketchbook, i'm not going to put stuff in front of people that i think is TOTALLY shitty. my idea of presenting raw drawings, non-bullshit drawings, was that you, my two viewers (tom and shilo) get the stream-of-consciousness experience... like, here it is... here's everything i drew yesterday or last month or last year... good drawings, bad drawings, okay drawings, maybe great drawings... but fuck.. i draw so much more than what i show to people... even when i show people so much of what i draw... there's still some editing happening... i'm not sure how i filter stuff out... how i decide what NOT to show people.. because i want to show people so much... it's part of it, right? not just showing you the gallery ready bullshit, but showing you what the idea or sketch on the NEXT page was... fuck, i don't know... so i deleted the "sentinels (dark connectors)" post. my poetry shit handwritten on some prints. after a few months of looking at it, i've decided the poetry was too fucking cheesy. maybe apart from the photos it's good, or alright, or great, or bullshit, but ON the photos... it's too much. don't judge me.. i'm just trying to be honest. plus, i just drank like, 6 or 7 beers or something. oops...